Wonder of Wonders

My son, who for so long could not bear to get his face or hair wet in a pool, jumped off the diving board at our town pool last week, on Wednesday, August 6th, to be precise, sometime after 6p.m. After watching other kids on the diving board, Noah asked if he could jump too. I said that he could. So Noah waited his turn on line, climbed the ladder, walked out to the end of the diving board, and then said, "It's too high." So I told Noah to climb back down. And he did.

A minute or so later, Noah asked if he could go again. I said that he could, but that this time, he had to jump. AND HE DID!! I cannot begin to describe the blended look of joy, pride and triumph that erupted on Noah's face. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before. And once the deed was done, there was no stopping Noah. He jumped again and again, until the pool closed at 7p.m. It was simply magical. I'm so proud of him I could scream. And more than that, I am positively in awe of a child who finds ways to overcome so much, including his own discomforts and fears, and in the process risks more, learns more and does more than I could ever hope to in ten lifetimes.

Clothes Downstairs

So appreciative of feedback/comments. A writer on the last post asked if it isn't possible to bring the clothes downstairs, especially since that's where the bathroom is. Her child's on the spectrum. So is my son. All I'd say about that is that normally, we all get dressed in our bedrooms. Really important, I think, to try to reinforce that for all kids. It can be a process that evolves over time, but I think we need to teach our kids what "normal" habits look and feel like. So for that reason and others, I'd try to get my child to dress in his room, brush his teeth and wash his face in the bathroom, and come downstairs. If the only available bathroom is on a floor other than where the bedroom is, that's another story. But if they're on the same floor, then tackle all those tasks where they should be tackled, then settle in for breakfast.

Problem Solved!!

How great was it to host my parents' group and have us actually tackle a problem we all thought we could solve. We were a smallish group--five in all--but we were productive. We offered help to one mom who is struggling with diagnostic and behavioral issues. We tossed out ideas and recommendations, and we certainly tried to be helpful, but who knows...
But then another mom was discussing the challenges of getting through the morning routine. Through some probing, we discovered that the routine included everyone coming downstairs in their jammies to have breakfast, en famille. "Oh no!" we practically cried in unison. "No coming downstairs until dressed, brushed and washed." I can't even imagine the backlog of trouble we'd have with getting ready in our house if the kids came downstairs, had breakfast, and then had to go back up to get dressed and cleaned up. Buses would come and go on a regular basis, without my kids on them.
I'm dying to know if our solution works. It seems so straightforward, so right. Let's see how the execution goes. But how great a feeling to be able to help another parent with a problem like that. Daily stress and worry, possibly reversed for good with the slight tweaking of a morning routine. Hoorah!!

Wonder of Wonders

Yesterday was a breakthrough day. We were at our town pool, and as has often happened in the past, Noah watched kids jumping off the diving board. This time though, he asked if he could do it too. I said "yes" and Noah walked over and got on line. He climbed the short ladder and walked out to the end of the diving board. He looked down into the pool and said, "It's too high." So I told Noah to climb back down, and he did. But a minute later, he asked if he could go again. "Yes you can," I told him, "but you have to jump off this time." And he did.

What a joyous, wonderful, amazing experience for Noah, and for us. I don't think I'd ever seen true glee, not until I saw it on Noah's face. The pride, the happiness. If they'd been written in words, they would have been bigger than anything earthbound. And once Noah jumped, he just kept going, getting back on line and jumping again and again. Here was this child, who for so long has avoided putting his head in the water, jumping into a pool twelve feet deep, with no option but to go under water, and no way out of the pool other than swimming to a ladder on the side. And I thought the laps Noah's been swimming for an hour at a time this summer were a breakthrough. Noah teaches me, every day, never to measure expectation by limitation.