I'm used to conferences in which the teacher goes through test scores, shows you some work, mumbles something nice about your child (hopefully) and thanks you for coming. This was not that conference. The first thing out of the teacher's mouth--after apologizing for the fact that we waited an hour to meet with her--was "I think she's great." (It's worth noting here that Ariel was with us.)
We then went on to discuss struggles with math, and what might be self-defeating there in Ariel's thought patterns and behaviors. But it was the second part of the conversation that had me nearly in tears. That's not because the teacher said anything unkind. It was simply because sitting next to your child while she dissects her social struggles with a precision and insight that is both stark and stunningly true, is incredibly hard to do.
I was enormously proud of Ariel for being able to be so honest about herself, while also pointing out the ways in which other children have at times been unkind and/or unforgiving. I don't know whether my tears were born of sorrow or pride, but I just kept thinking: "I don't have one 'normal' child. I don't have one 'normal' child."
It might have been the lateness of the hour (our meeting started at 9p.m.), so perhaps my feelings were filtered through fatigue. I can't say for sure. But I was so moved by Ariel, so in awe of her poise in talking about a subject that has to be difficult. And to do it with your teacher and parents there together. Wow. More than that: after articulating so well how she perceives her own challenges as well as the responses of others to her, Ariel made a point of telling her teacher, without a touch of irony, that this has been her best year in school so far, and that she loves school.
I could have eaten my daughter up at the moment. But we had come to the conference from Haagen Dasz, where we celebrated Ariel's birthday over sundaes and ice cream cones. I didn't have room for one more bite, even of my delicious daughter.
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