Down the Rabbit Hole in Monthly Installments

Just when you think things can't get much worse for you as a parent, you reach a new low. Mine came at about 5:30 a.m. on a Monday morning. I couldn't sleep, since I kept going over in my head the weekend's missteps and aggravations, so I went down to the basement and turned on the boob tube. At least I wouldn't keep anyone else awake. As I channel surfed, I came across an infomercial from a guy who was selling his parenting program, which he of course developed after years of counseling parents in his private practice. He hit all the right buttons: "Is your child defiant? Is conflict a constant in your household? Do you find yourself repeating strategies that don't work?" And on and on. So I picked up the phone. Alice in Maine was lovely, commiserating with me in my misery. The program transformed her relationship with her own daughter. Yes, I could get my money back, once I submitted the required written evaluations. But I must fill in ALL the required fields; no blanks allowed. I don't think I believe the money refund promise, but I will get AMEX to help me argue that one. I did have enough presence of mind to decline the monthly phone support at $49.95, but I figure that even if I get stuck paying the three monthly installments of $119.95, I'm still way ahead, compared with private counseling. And who knows, maybe James Lehman can actually help me salvage my role as a parent. If not, my kids can tell the story of their desperate, gullible mama , to great guffaws, to whichever therapist(s) they choose to bitch about me to. As long as they do it on their own dime...